Why is Love so difficult?

Why is L-O-V-E so difficult? Have you ever stopped long enough to think about all of the difficulty there is in loving someone? For example look at the divorce rate and you will quickly see that the promise of “til death do us part” is more difficult than anyone ever thought. At the beginning, we are convinced that “our” relationship will be easy. Now, we tell everyone else that we know it will be hard and we will fight to keep our love alive, but deep down we believe “ours” will be easy, after all – we LOVE the other person and “our” LOVE is different than everybody else’s love for one another. Then trouble comes along and the next thing we know there is talk of divorce.
Or take dating relationships. Why is it so hard to find a “GOOD” guy? Why can’t my daughter find a guy who is just interested in her and her only? Why can’t my son find a girl who isn’t so self-centered? Why can’t there be someone out there who will be just right for me? (Or for my daughter? Or for my son? Or for my mom? Or for my _____? You get the idea!) The reason we can’t find Mr. Right or Mrs. Right is because we are not right! Somewhere we have bought in to the lie that we are good and there is no other good person out there left for me! If we just stop and think about this, we will realize just how silly we really are? Then we will see how narcissistic we have become? Since we can’t find Mr(s). Right, we start to look any and everywhere. We look in church. We look in bar, clubs and “low places” (thanks for that one Garth!) We still can’t find him/her, so we look on the website that promises total honesty and transparency and most importantly EXACTLY what you are looking for – LOVE! In fact 1/3 of all marriages begin online. Good or bad that is where we are at. The statistics of relationships that begin online say that these marriages are happier and last longer. But this study has only been over the last 10 years. Is that really what we are shooting for – ten years? All of this is not to cause so much controversy as it is to get us to thinking about the difficulty of LOVE. Why is marriage so hard? Why is love not easier? Why can’t we find what we are looking for in relationships?
I have a suggestion to what the reason may be behind the difficulty! The why? 1 John 4:8 tells us, “God is love.” Ephesians 6:12 tells us, “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” Could it be that the forces of evil desire us not to love easily or even accurately? Could it be that those forces know that love is the one thing that sets us apart from everybody else? (Remember, we aren’t talking about flesh, but against the evil forces!) Maybe it is difficult because is it a battle ground for holiness. To get you thinking, I mentioned love in a romantic relationship, but we also are called: to love like a child, to love one another, to love our spouse, to love the church and to love Jesus (definitely not in that order!) That’s why this month on Sunday mornings we will be looking at love but defined as Unashamed and Uncomfortable Love. I hope you will be there to grow with us in HIS love!


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